男人,您去看了Sex and the city電影嗎?


我女兒Candice是《慾望城市》(Sex and the city)的死忠粉絲。也謝謝 她在Sex and the city尚未成為社會文化現象時介紹我認識了它。從此我也就愛上了這部影集。我也曾跟許多年輕人說,要學習現代的生活英文,Sex and the city 是最好的教材。為了學英文而看Sex and the city 是多麼好的藉口。
Sex sells. Vanity sells. Fashion sells. 但Sex and the city的成功卻是它代表了一群獨立,自主,有智慧,有勇氣做真實自己的大都會區新女性的生活態度。它真正的主軸其實仍然是愛情與友情。

做真實的自己(Authenticity)

這次Sex and the city的故事雖然是標準的Hollywood公式,我仍然很高興看到西方文化對如何做一個真實的自己的態度及方法:

1. Mr Big如何忠於自己對婚禮的堅持及內心的恐懼?
2. Carrie為何最後發現到自己的不是?
3. Steve為甚麼要說出自己不忠的行為?
4. Miranda為何堅持要告訴Carrie她的失言及內心的不安?
5. Samantha 最後仍然要做真實的自己?
6. Smith如何成熟的坦然接受Samantha的決定?
7. Charlotte對Carrie的保護是個幫助還是阻礙?

很高興看到这部电影對老化 (aging) 的坦然面對.譬如Carrie 不得不接受要用老花眼鏡,Samantha 的50歲生日。。。
愛是願意原諒,也是願意承擔風險,因為沒有任何人能夠保證未來的任何事。只有願意承擔風險,才能繼續往前走(move on), 也就會有無限的可能出現。

歡迎喜歡Sex and the city的影迷留言,在此跟我分享你的個人獨特觀點及感想。

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21 Responses

  1. HA! Dear Mr. Ping
    我才剛在朋友的部落格留下Sex & the city的感想~
    沒想到逛來這裡~您也寫了一篇~真是巧~:-D

    我超超超愛Sex and the city~
    我也要抽空去看電影版了~
    我到現在~還會拿起來看一到六集~不管看了幾次我也是看不膩~

    這次看到Carrie 與 Adam分手,她不知道自己想要的是什麼,但面對Adam的求婚,她卻說了yes,因為她愛他,但不知道他是否真的是那位Mr.right。

    又讓我想到自己也在感情中翻滾很久的我,現實中有太多困難我無法克服導致我想分手,卻也說不出口的窘境…

    Sex and the city,每次看都覺得現在自己在詮釋哪個角色?但這部劇真的都說明了很多女人的心聲,至少我是。

    曾經年輕的時候我是Samantha,在年少無知過後,卻又有著Carrie的特徵,當mr.Big 跟carrie說,you’re a kid. and my bf right now also said to me…I think …deep inside my mind, I only need love and care. Just like Carrie.

  2. Dear Elyse:

    Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.

    ( forever yours, forever mine, forever ours )

    I purposely wrote the titile of this blog with regusting our China men to watch SATC ( sex and the city ). Men in Taiwan are failure because most of them stop reaching out and learning how to re-awaken their inner child.

    I think you always want to be authentic with yourself. We all have phases in our life which actually are good things. This is where we come from and what makes me at this moment.

    Actually, we are all kids looking for caress, safety nest, gentle care and unconditional love.

    I think you’ll agree that we need to learn how to deal with authenticity and personal honesty. You have to live a life that is honesty to yourself. This is the real source for authentic happiness. If you cannot honest ly face yourself, how you can achieve authentic happiness in life.

    I like SATC because it taught me how to deal with emotion and relationship as a civilized and matured human being.

    Please note that that to love is a courageous thing, to take risk for hurting and betraying and a willingness to let the love lead us. There is no guarentee for a smooth ride, just enjoy the journey be true to your feeling.

    I think we all have these four characters in us. This is why SATC is so successful. They are all us even though we don’t want to admit.

    You will love the movie if you let the critical mind take a rest and simply enjoy the characters with intelligent and funny dialogue.

    Oh, I have a home assignment to you. Please answer the seven questions I posted after you watching the movie so we can start a conversation. 🙂

    Ping

  3. here is a link on Vanity Fair that you may read about other conversations on the movie. it is enjoyable.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/ontheweb/blogs/daily/2008/05/sex-and-the-cit.html

  4. 我覺得,這部影集(電影)負面多過正面太多太多,不知道大家有沒有認真思考過。雖然我也很愛看這部影集,也會去看這部電影,但它在於朱老師說的那些”真實的態度及想法”其實是很基本面的東西,可是用這些理所當然之大是來包裝隱含的拜金、亂交等等,應該是大家在沉迷這部影集的同時,心中所要持平存在它的弔詭性。
    好看歸好看,但是過多的推崇並不正常:)

  5. 特別喜歡您的刊頭照
    單一的光線下
    在鍵盤上跳躍的指頭間
    透露出像鋼琴家般的專注

    從您的文字與影像中
    不斷收到品味人生細膩意涵的提醒
    造訪您的部落格
    像是為偶來的昏沈生活
    洗把臉

    感謝這世上總還有一些值得我
    站在角落審度與欣賞的身影
    從他人
    看自己
    應是最有意義的人生學習

  6. dear ping~
    我認同您 所說的 ,隨著電影上映看到一則有趣的新聞,
    在blog裡寫下一篇隨感…”異性戀男,為何你懼看Sex and The city!?”…歡迎您隨性點閱http://emilykuo.blogspot.com/

  7. Dear Freda:
    Thank you for the link. As the articles said, SATC is a product placement dream comes true. Well, people don’t mind this because people already accept this is part of the package. Actually, it would become the way to finance film from now on.
    Thank you for browsing my blog. You are commendable to do this. It also means a lot to me.
    Ping

  8. Dear Grace:

    I respect your comments and think you are right on the issue that is very personal.
    The good thing about a open and civilized society is that we tolerate the different lifestyle and different moral standard. People who love SATC will exercise their own judgement in choosing a lifestyle that they want. Again, we all know it is a movie to entertain us.

    Ping

  9. Dear 路上風景:

    I am glowing and floating.

    Thank you for your most kind words. You are the first one who noticed the photo that I posted on the top. I like the photo for the lighting effect. Photographer used the reflected light from the computer screen to show my face. This give a subtle and soft lighting which caught the moment of my creativity flow.

    從他人
    看自己
    應是最有意義的人生學習

    You really have a special way to say things.

    Thank you. This is the purpose of this blog. When we are ready, we will gravitate to the same path in life.

    Welcome home.

    Ping

  10. Dear Emily Kuo:

    Thank you for inviting me to your secret space. I think I really want to know your comments on my new restaurant Nonzero in Taipei. 🙂

    You are the first one who comments on my titile of this blog. I gave an interview to PPAPER, issue 17 long time ago. I told Mr. Pao that Taiwan’s men are failing if they don’t reclaim their inner child for curiosity and learning new things.

    I don’t think SATC has anything to do with the taste or lifestyle of gay men or straight men. We are in the Aesthetic Economy if we want to stay competitive in the global economy. A culture that don’t tolerate diversity is a culute that will die out eventually.

    I like SATC because the intelligent dialogue and the way western civilized world handle relationship.

    You have not done your homework on my blog yet. I really like to hear from you about this 7 questions.

    It is not just about fashion, materialism, product placement or sex, it is about how to deal with our emotions and relationship maturely and intelligently.

    I like your secret place. You are a very special girl.

    Ping

  11. Dear Ping,

    昨晚看完SATC, 心裡滿滿的思緒及感動….

    唯有忠於自己, 誠實的對待身邊的人, 對他人的誠實多一份包容其尊重. 愛, 才會發生, 延續, 進而發展出無限可能….

    Carrie 忙著籌劃世俗價值觀的豪華婚禮的同時, 忘了婚姻的本質是兩個人共同努力的一段關係, 她忽略了Mr. Big 對婚姻/婚禮的恐懼, 及誠實的說出他感受.

    Steve 因為害怕失去 Miranda 及無法承受來自內心的自責, 說出了他不忠的行為. 最讓我動容的是婚姻咨詢師的那一番話, 若是仍彼此相愛, 是否願意放下過去, 重新開始, 讓這份愛繼續…. 同樣的 Miranda也因為受不住內心的煎熬, 誠實對Carrie說出她的失言.

    Smith 尊重 Samantha 的決定, 因為唯有 Samantha 做自己, 擁有生活的自主權才是完整的個體.

    Charlotte 最後在與 Carrie 的一番話之後, 沒有因為害怕失去或失敗而放棄追求內心渴望的東西……

    這是裡面有許多的愛, 包容及自覺.

    Grace Ong

  12. Dear Grace:

    You just got yourself an A+++ grade on this home work. I think this is the powerful way to shape a new and modern value in the pursuit of authentic happiness. Be authentic to your feeling and your value is a big challenge in the Chinese culture. I am still struggling at this moment. We are so afraid of hurting othe people’s feeling so we are willing to hurt our own emotional healthy.

    The reason that Steve and Miranda can reconcile is due to the fact that Steve broke the news about his unfaithfulness first. This has set the stage for the reunification in the future.

    SATC is only a true reflection of a metropolitan single’s life. They are not advocating anything becaue they trust that viewers will make their own decision on their moral standard. This is the most important element in any advance civilization: diversification and tolerance. The guiding principle is to trust everyone has the ability to choose what they want to believe and the lifesytle they choose. In Taiwan, I can see we are moving into this matured metropolitan lifestyle.

    All the materialism and commercialism is part of the movie entertainment and escapism. There is nothing wrong about it either. It is a personal taste and personal style. We have no right to judge if it brings out the happiness in people, even for a short of time.

    Besides, I love to see these people dressed smart with chacter and statement.

    Grace Ong, I think you are a special girl with a sensitive and empathetic soul.

    Thank you for participating in this interesting dialogue.

    Ping

  13. 唯有忠於自己, 誠實的對待身邊的人, 對他人的誠實多一份包容其尊重. 愛, 才會發生, 延續, 進而發展出無限可能…. by Grace Ong

    I love what you wrote. It is so true.

    Ping

  14. Dear Ping,

    It’s such a great pleasuer to have this interesting dialogue with you. I truely admire your enthusiasm toward life.

    Grace Ong
    p.s. Nonzero is fabulous!

  15. Dear Grace:

    I believe that the next wave for blog movement is in the pursuit of intellectual discussion. I never like the ideas of counting how many page views to determin how popular the blog is. I actually want to see how the quality of the comment is to determine if the blog is doing something meaningful. We blog or sharing comments because we have a common passion on certain topics. All of us want to become a better person through learning and sharing. Thank you for your engaging comments. I believe your comments have touched upon lots of readers’ heart.

    Be the change,

    Ping

  16. Dear Grace:

    I also think Nonzero is a special place in Taipei. We vote with what we buy. We should support the business that has the same value as ours. If you don’t support and walk your talk, one day you will find that your favorite restaurent has gone and your favorite magazine stop publishing.

    Thank you for your kind words on Nonzero. Nonzero still has lots or rooms to improve. The important thing is that Nonzero has survived with your support so when you are down or despair, you know there is always a place for you in Taipei.

    Ping

  17. I love this movie for its’ blatant product placement.

  18. Carrie是如何知道Big的心態與自己的不是?

    是痛苦吧!!
    當人在華麗與自信滿滿的當下容易迷失,但痛苦使人覺醒

    Miranda唇上的奶泡,代表了現實生活上的相互扶持,因為史帝夫的一次出軌要不要選擇原諒,在布魯克林橋的這一端咖啡館理,用律師辯護的方式寫下他的優缺點,起身一眼又見到玻璃反光自己唇上的奶泡,擦拭後快步趕著上橋,心想

    說不定史帝夫也可能寫下她很多的缺點

    這是自我覺察!!

    Samantha寧可用自己能力上限獲得喜愛的珠寶,勝於男人送的,雖然她火辣的言詞說那是男人褲襠裡第二樣喜歡的東西,卻可看出她的自我堅持與女性自主

    『我愛你,但我更愛我自己』…..的誠實面對是令人可佩的

    by the way
    如同你有自己的堅持,暫不想去上圓桌課程一樣
    I totally reallze!!!

  19. Dear Sabrina:

    I think it is so sweet that your husband is willing to see this movie with you. I agree with everything you said about this movie. You are very sensitive and observative with the subtle meaning of human’s emotion. I believe you are a great life coach to a lot of people.

    I wish there are more men watching this movie and learn how to be authentic to their feeling. This is what you and I need to do. Chinese culture needs to modernize with the more independent mind and mobilized society. There are so many unhappy people who are unable to live an authentic life.

    An authentic life should have a free will which is not coercd by any third party. This is why I have reservation for any organized religion or quasi religion group.

    I am glad to get to know you better now.

    Ping

  20. Hello!

    多年以來,我一直是Aveda的愛用者! 除了是the 3rd place的常客外,也是您的忠實讀者!

    我想,愛與友情,一直是人生在這個世上,最基本,也最忠實的渴望。藉由愛與友情,與他人建立可長可久,可親密也可疏離的關係!

    會去看這部電影的人,八九不離十是影集的忠實影迷。

    雖然片中的華服時尚佔據絕大篇幅,一如往昔的。可,我最心悅誠服,最愛的仍是,最基本的核心價值,愛!

    愛,是上天送給我們最寶貴的禮物! 有了愛,可以克服一切。因為愛,讓我們產生了包容,寬恕,坦白,信任,願意相信自己也能擁有追求幸福的力量與勇氣。

    我很開心,我叫Carrie,在近20年前當我還是高中生時,我幫自己取了這個洋名,而在15年後的5年前,看到了這部影集而心有戚戚焉!

    我更開心的是,我誠如女主角般,追求一份摯愛,而不是妥協與犧牲自我! 世俗稱之為傻勇,可我總認為: 好好的去體驗人生的每種愛的感受,這樣的人生是幸福的! 有甜蜜,有苦痛,有平淡,有高潮。而最終,仍願意相信並追尋真愛。

    我完全同意你與其他讀者的回應。

    當真愛在彼此心靈流動時,享受喜悅與自在的當下,讓心去引領我們,我想,所謂的天堂,大概就是這個意思了。

    也唯有讓愛環繞在我們心中,我們才可以產生無比的力量與勇氣,不斷的往前行,將愛的圈圈擴散出去。

    當我撫著心口,看著湛藍的天空,我很慶幸,我活在愛裡面。我感恩著宇宙萬物賜與我的能量與美好的時時刻刻,而我可以是那愛與光的源頭。

    因為,我真心誠意的,微笑,看這世界!!!

    Again, you are fabulious!!!!!

  21. Dear Carrie:

    You are absolutely right. Thank you for your contribution on this blog. This is as much as your blog as mine.

    We are all fabulous when we have love in our heart. SATC is not just a social icon or cultural movement. SATC is about love.

    I know SATC is not for everyone. However, I really wish Taiwan Men can watch this movie with open mind and try to see things from a different angle.

    SATC, the movie, actually did not get very good reviews from her critical fans even though it is a blockbuster. Mos people still prefer the HBO series. I just want to bring out the discussion in how we, Chinese, deal with our emotion with honesty, civility and integrity.

    Keep smiling,

    Ping

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